I'm Back...Again!

Thanks to all my followers for hanging in there with me! Finally checking back in, and I'll probably be starting my next post with an apology...again! Blogging is still hard for me, but I'm committed to press on. A few things on my mind...

Mother's Day
I Hope everyone had a nice Mother's Day and a Happy Belated Mother's Day to all the Moms out there. I was thankful to be sharing it with my Mom, visiting from Florida, and my Mother-in-Law aka "Second Mom."  I am blessed to have these two incredible women in my family. I was reflecting on their amazing strength, as I watched both of them care for ailing loved ones over a long period of time. Mommy took care of my Dad in his final days and although she is a nurse by profession, it makes looking after a loved one no easier. The strength I saw in her in those difficult days, as well as those after his passing, has and continues to be inspiring to me. And then I simultaneously watched Mom (my MIL) traveling from work to the Nursing Home, to all her other obligations and back again every day to care for her ailing mother, staying by her side until she drew her last breath. I remember praying that I would always be as dedicated to my mother as she was to hers. I pray that soon, the wisdom imparted from my "mothers" and grandmothers will finally "kick in" and I can feel that same kind of wisdom flowing through me to our children. Motherhood ain't easy, but it's worth every minute of it, and I wouldn't trade it for the world! Keep loving and honoring your mothers.

"I'm a hustler, baby..." (a la Jay-Z)
Well I'm selling Avon...slowly...but I'm sticking with it. And I'm also a Cookie Lee Jewelry Consultant. I LOVE their jewelry!! I'm so excited about having my jewelry business, and I'm doing quite well, if I may say so. Please check out my website - you can view the catalog online. It's just a side gig, but it's turning out to be quite rewarding. Aside from my initial enthusiasm over sales, what's amazing to me is that several of my customers are already promising to come back for more orders - practically setting aside budget money for next month's purchase. I love it! This jewelry is amazing! Did I say that already? Well, it is. I am so NOT a salesperson, but the product - excuse the coming cheesy line - really DOES sell itself! I'm including a few pieces in each of my YouTube videos, so I'm learning how to work the hustle! Never knew I had it in me! Who knows what the future holds... Check me out at www.youravon.com/cbranch and www.cookielee.biz/calandrabranch.

My Baby Can Read
OK, I know I'm just rambling at this point and there is no continuity in this blog, but remember...it's called "'This and That' with Calandra" for a reason! Anyway...I'm not one to brag about my children (smirk), but The Boy (I always loved when Homer called Bart "the boy") is now 3 1/2 and already reading! I want to make a Public Service Announcement...Please do not spend money on the "My Baby Can Read" DVD. First of all, how good can an educational product be that just costs $20? Shucks, "Hooked on Phonics" was like $200 when it first came out and that was a sound investment. Phonics are the way to go!!! When The Boy was a baby, someone from church gave him a toy called "Alphabet Pal" - a big catepillar who taught letters and phonetics. This was the best toy he had, and now The Girl is learning from it as well. I firmly believe that because The Boy learned phonics, he is reading now...give him any word and he can sound it out. The joy of phonics. Sight reading, the premise behind MBCR, just teaches memorization of words, so children only recognize words they have memorized or seen before. What value is that? Just something for the parents of a 6 month old who can "read" to brag about at dinner parties and family reunions. Sight reading vs. phonics  is like the difference between giving a man a fish vs. teaching him how to fish. The Boy will be reading like a champ in no time. Just in time to give us some good bragging material at the next dinner party or family reunion! LOL - just kidding.

Until next time folks...Love Y'all!

Quick Update

Hey y'all! Two posts in the same week?? Kinda frightening, eh?

Anyway...just a quick note to say thanks to all of you read my posts and to those who have dared to follow me! Please check out my YouTube channel - www.youtube.com/cybranch - I just posted two new videos, one of which is a contest/giveaway. But I'm not gonna tell you what it's about - you'll have to head over to my YouTube channel and find out! ;-)

I'm entering two new ventures, hoping to earn a little gas money, which these days is actually a lot! I'm now a Cookie Lee Jewelry Consultant (shout out to my Sistafriend Melanie from BxSci for hooking a sista up!), and an Avon Representative (shout out to the lady at my local Starbucks who kept harassing me...no just joking, she didn't harass me, she was 'mildly persistent'). So please check out www.youravon.com/cbranch and place an order, and http://www.cookielee.biz/calandrabranch to check out the jewelry. Give me a shout out if you're interesting in hosting a jewelry party - there's some cool stuff for you if you become a hostess!

Until later...peace and blessings y'all!

To Breastfeed or Not to Breastfeed?

I know...it's been more than a minute since I've blogged, and my re-entry into the blog world is about breastfeeding? What's up with that? Well, remember we talk about a little bit of anything and everything here, and parenting issues are near and dear to my heart. This is probably the most widely discussed parenting topic out there, right next to "cloth vs. disposable" (diapers, that is).

This afternoon, I was reading this blog/article on parentdish.com (http://www.parentdish.com/2010/04/13/baby-formula-is-not-rat-poison/), written by a woman who actually DID breastfeed her children, but was also a supporter of formula. I thought I'd add my two cents for all those moms-to-be out there. Be careful, I also feel a rant coming on! It's been 3 1/2 years since I first had to contemplate the breastfeeding choice and that's exactly what it was...a choice. I am so very sick of mothers (and fathers for that matter - contrary to popular belief, men need to be able to at least voice their opinion about anything that concerns their children. And no, I will not duck when you all throw the tomatoes at me for that statement. I'm not afraid to stand up for the Dads out there) being chastised for the decisions they make concerning their children. The bottom line is, any parent worth his/her salt is a "real parent" not because they conceived and bore a child, or not because they chose one form of something over another, but because they have made a commitment to put the welfare of their children before their own. And that they have committed to being the best they can be for their children. Now that's a pretty tall order - we are selfish by nature, so even though they're real cute and cuddly, it is sometimes difficult to put their needs before our own.

But as usual, I digress...I was talking about breastfeeding, right? Actually, no. This blog is more about choices and the consequences of the choices we make for our children. Well...I guess I'd better stick to the breastfeeding issue and I'll come back to choices later. (Note to self: Start a series of blogs on parental choice - public vs. private school, to spank or not spank, hmm...)

OK - I'm focusing, I'm focusing...Breastfeeding, right? It saddens me that a woman's motherhood is tested by her decision to breastfeed. To me, breastfeeding is not the end all. Yes, there are health and nutritional benefits, and bonding opportunities, and all that other good stuff. But when we put that kind of pressure on mothers, especially when there is a perfectly legitimate alternative, it makes non-breastfeeding mothers crazy! When I was pregnant with my son, I actually read the benefits of breastfeeding, and I decided to give it a try, but had also decided what formula we would be using, just in case. I chose to breastfeed because of the health benefits, and the bonding opportunities, but did not think formula was the devil. I did not think that breastfeeding would make me feel like more of a mom. I knew my baby would love me whether I gave him breastmilk or formula - as long as he got fed!

The irony is that we still put pressure on ourselves. I had difficulties breastfeeding. When I came home from the hospital, I was so obsessive about getting Izzy (our son) on a schedule, I didn't like the arbitrary-ness (yeah, I know that's not a word) of the breastfeeding schedule. If I couldn't measure it, I didn't know if he had had enough, and I was just a hot mess. After a month, I decided to stick to formula and after a few days of grieving my decision, I got over it and moved on. I was disappointed because I felt I had betrayed my commitment to breastfeed. I wasn't worried about losing any health benefits - there are perfectly healthy formula-fed children out there. So by the time our daughter was born 2 years later, there was no choice. I didn't want to go through the emotional struggle again. We were going straight to the formula. Enfamil had served us well.

So to breastfeed or not to breastfeed? The purpose of this blog is not to provide you the answer. There is no correct answer. My only answer is to do your homework and make a wise decision. But also realize that sometimes biology is not in line with our decision, and you may have to go another route. Just know that if you make parenting decisions with love and due diligence, then don't let anyone get on your case about them.

Let me get off my soapbox, before someone knocks me off! Love y'all!

Blogging is Hard!

So here I am again. I've come to the following conclusion: Blogging is HARD! As much as I can talk, and as many things as I have an opinion on, you would think I'd post blogs all day, every day! Some days it's easier to make a video and sit in front of the camera and talk. Some days, it's easier to write down my thoughts. Today was one of those writing days. I figured, why not write about the hard time I'm having writing! :-)

Well one thing I'm glad about is that I have 24 YouTube subscribers...looking for lucky #25! Please check out and subscribe to my channel: www.youtube.com/cybranch. Yes, that was a not-so-subtle plug! Hey, at least I'm honest! Last night, I subscribed to a makeup tutorial channel (one of the many I subscribe to) and found out I was her 600th subscriber, so she's sending me a gift! How awesome. When I sent her my info, I found out we both joined YouTube on the exact same day a few years ago, and she also lived in Queens, NY at some point. I know...eerie, right?

I'm really enjoying this vlogging and blogging, even though I don't post as often as I should. I'll probably be talking about some articles I've read lately, but haven't been uber-inspired just yet. And by the way, I'm officially Tweeting - you can follow me at http://twitter.com/cybranch. Please don't give up on me...I'm still working on posting things that are of substance, fun and interesting, both in terms of blogs and vlogs on the YT. And public notice to my personal friends...y'all really need to follow my blog and subscribe to my YT channel - I know you're reading and watching, but ya ain't subscribin' and followin'!! LOL. That's ok...I'm just happy that you're stopping by.

Love you all and I'll be back soon for more "This and That."

Young Adults and the Church

I read an interesting article this morning - www.politicsdaily.com/2010/02/25/young-adults-doing-religion-on-their-own-blame-it-on-politics/%2F. [NOTE: The link may only take you to the main Politics Daily page. Enter "pew center young adults" in the search box, and it's the first article that comes up.] The article briefly discussed the Pew Center's recently-released report, "Religion Among the Millenials." Please read the entire article, but in short, Pew indicated that the generation of young adults aged 18-29 are leaving organized denominations and churches, but have not abandoned their faith to embrace secularism. They are not worshipping in the way of their parents and grandparents. They are leaving the church because of the church's role in politics. I do find it interesting that the early church was always involved in politics - as with the Civil Rights Movement - but perhaps the church was dealing more with social politics as opposed to the extreme right- and left-wing issues being fought across the country today. This blog is not a review, or even a discussion about the Pew report. However, this article had me revisit the question many of us in the church have been asking..."Why are young adults leaving the church?"


We must be very careful with information found in surveys such as the Pew report - I think that too many of our churches take this information as a cue to "re-vamp" the church. Speaking as a Methodist, John Wesley (the father of Methodism), Richard Allen (founder and first Bishop of the African Methodist Episcopal Church), James Varick (founder and first Bishop of the African Methodist Episcopal Zion Church), and all our other forefathers and foremothers, along with the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, gave us all the tools we needed, and still need, for effective ministry. What we need to do is just sharpen the tools for today's times. Too many ministers and laity feel it necessary to "change" the church drastically in order to attract, or re-attract young adults. Many want to write-off the "traditions" of the church, citing them as being outdated and irrelevant. However, in terms of Methodism, the "tradition" of John Wesley WAS preaching to the people in the streets, at risk of being stoned and ridiculed for his faith and public proclamation of the Gospel. It was the tradition of John Wesley and his brother Charles to "preach" to the local pubdwellers by putting Christian lyrics to the tunes of popular bar songs. Now if that wasn't an example of bringing the Gospel to the people...!

Please...let's not start trying to take the "church" out of the church - restructuring pulpits, taking down altar rails, taking crosses off the wall and not using the word "church" in the names of our ministries. These are not the things that turn people away from the church. What turns young adults away is the church that preaches the Gospel, but fails to LIVE the Gospel. The church filled with people who have forgotten what it is like to be young in age, or young in Christ, and forget to be patient and loving to those who are growing up in the faith. We must stop trying to give people what they WANT and remember to give people what they NEED, according to the Word of God.

The true church is made up of the hearts of the people. If our hearts are right and in tune with God, and we continue to preach, teach and live the unadulterated Gospel of Jesus Christ, and continue to allow God to give our leaders vision and share that unaltered vision with the followers, then our churches will grow and reclaim its place as the true beacons in our community and in our world.

My Favorite Things (MFT)-Down Memory Lane

Periodically, I'll hightlight one or a few of my favorite things. No, not like Oprah - there will be no giveaways! It may be products, movies, music, or anything. Remember, this spot is all about a little bit of this and a little bit of that, so...

Today's MFT is the television music show "Soul Train". Before BET videos, before "106th and Park", there was and always will be the SOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUL TRAAAIN!! Saturday mornings...doing chores around the house...eating cereal...and standing/sitting/dancing in front of the TV watching cool-as-a-cucumber Don Cornelius and the Soul Train Dancers. Who can forget that deep soulful voice, with the 10-foot collars, silver bangle bracelet, wire-rimmed glasses and perfectly-coiffed Afrosheen blowout kit-inspired Afro?! Please tell me I was not the only little girl with a crush on Don Cornelius?

Centric (the channel formerly known as BET-J) carries Soul Train reruns and I'm in love all over again. Yes, I'm a child of the 70's, but was still quite young during many of the early ST episodes, so I'm seeing a lot of these for the first time. Between reminiscing and learning something new, I am really enjoying catching these episodes on the weekends. What happened to being able to watch ST and learn or perfect the latest dances? We don't even have dances anymore. All we have is booty-shaking, gyrating, and The Cupid Shuffle/Electric Slide/Cha-Cha Slide (all of which are nothing but new-fangled versions of The Hustle and The Bus Stop!).

...but I digress...

Watching Soul Train is not just about remembering the music, or the dances, or the fashions. It's about remembering the era. When you watch Soul Train, you think about what was going on in your life, and in the world when these songs were playing. A few weeks ago, I saw an episode with The Sylvers - remember them? They were the "new" Jackson Five (and pre-cursor to DeBarge!). Another big family of pretty teens, with the cute young sibling on lead vocals. Yes, I had a BIG crush on Foster Sylvers. It reminded me of my sister's cut-out pictures from Right On! magazine (I KNOW y'all remember Right On!) that peppered her walls, right next to the J-5 posters. I remembered the summers when everyone in the block sat on our porch - we lived on the corner - listening to music. My mother sometimes had to call out the window for us to hold it down. Now these kids were teens, and I was only 5, so I was not exactly hanging out with them. But I remember them being there!

Soul Train is a reminder of family reunions down South when all your cousins got together for the "big show" that Saturday night, when we would showcase our talents for the older family members. Doing the latest dances, and showing off the way we did the dances "up North" versus how our Southern cousins did them. These were simpler times. These were fun times.

Maybe I'll start a "Back down memory lane" series? What do you think? Until then, "as we always say in parting. Wishing you love, peace and SOOOOOUUUUL!"

Time Flies

Wow. I can't believe we're more than halfway through February, and I haven't posted a thing since the beginning of the month. Bad blogger! In all honesty, I haven't had much to say lately-just busy with work, home, etc. I know, you don't feel like hearing me complain. I guess there's nothing worse than a whiny blogger!

Still trying to get ideas for my next vlog on YouTube. I have some ideas, but can't seem to flesh out anything substantial to talk about. My next one will probably be on teens and sex - I think that's my roadblock. I have a lot to say, but I'm a bit reluctant - it's one video I want to really be prepared for and not say things off the cuff. I say it's a roadblock because I'm starting to believe that "ain't no good gonna come to me" until I do right by the subject of teens and sex.

To all my friends from Facebook who may be reading this...PLEASE subscribe to my YouTube channel (www.youtube.com/cybranch). I know you've been watching my vlogs, and I suspect you don't subscribe because the system forces you to sign up/register with YouTube. Trust me, it's safe and there are no downsides to registering with YT. Would I lie to you? LOL.

Thanks again for everyone's support. Please remember to send me comments to let me know what's on your mind, and what you'd like to see me talk about. Let's make "This and That" with Calandra a fun place to hang out!

Peace and blessings.