Embraceable You

Good morning! NO MORE APOLOGIES for lagging in my blog posts! I've embraced the fact that I will only say something when I really have something to say. If that means a month or two in between, then so be it. This morning, I was feeling quite empowered - for no particular reason. I kept thinking of adding these things to my Facebook status, but realizing I had too many things to add, the light bulb flickered and I remembered my blogspot. So on that note...

Ladies - embrace yourself today. Last week I unashamedly celebrated my 41st birthday.  As long as I feel I've grown to be better and wiser than the year before, I will always embrace my age. I am thankful for wisdom, and continue to strive to gain more. I feel especially strong today...and I want you to feel strong as well - in mind, body and spirit!

When I was a VERY little girl, I had this strange misconception that it was much harder to be a "boy" than a "girl". I thought that only boys went to jail, could join the army and had to do "hard" labor. I thought these were horrible things and so I was thankful to have been born a girl. Of course, I quickly learned this just wasn't true. However, I am still thankful to have been born a "girl", just for different reasons. This is no disrespect to the fellas out there - neither gender is better or worse, just different. And different is good, as long as we understand the differences...but that's for another blog on another day! I LOVE being a woman. I love knowing that I have "woman's intuition", and a nurturing instinct. I love the fact that I have been blessed to give birth to two beautiful, miraculous children. I often think of Lauryn Hill's beautiful lyrics in To Zion:

And I thank you for choosing me

To come through unto life to be

A beautiful reflection of His grace

See I know that a gift so great

Is only one God could create

And I'm reminded every time I see your face

I embrace my life...my spirit...my choices...my ability to love - and I love HARD...my inner voice...my intelligence...and yes, I even embrace my CURVES! 

Dr. Angelou said I am PHENOMENAL. The Bee Gees said I'm MORE THAN A WOMAN. WAY before Whitney said it, Chaka said I'm EVERY WOMAN. The Psalmist said I am FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY MADE! The Commodores said I'm a BRICK...HOUSE (OWWW)! India.Arie said I have STRENGTH, COURAGE and WISDOM. And back in the day, even Helen (Reddy) said...I am STRONG. I am INVINCIBLE. I am WOMAN!

Be it girl...then EMBRACE IT! Peace.

I'm Back...Again!

Thanks to all my followers for hanging in there with me! Finally checking back in, and I'll probably be starting my next post with an apology...again! Blogging is still hard for me, but I'm committed to press on. A few things on my mind...

Mother's Day
I Hope everyone had a nice Mother's Day and a Happy Belated Mother's Day to all the Moms out there. I was thankful to be sharing it with my Mom, visiting from Florida, and my Mother-in-Law aka "Second Mom."  I am blessed to have these two incredible women in my family. I was reflecting on their amazing strength, as I watched both of them care for ailing loved ones over a long period of time. Mommy took care of my Dad in his final days and although she is a nurse by profession, it makes looking after a loved one no easier. The strength I saw in her in those difficult days, as well as those after his passing, has and continues to be inspiring to me. And then I simultaneously watched Mom (my MIL) traveling from work to the Nursing Home, to all her other obligations and back again every day to care for her ailing mother, staying by her side until she drew her last breath. I remember praying that I would always be as dedicated to my mother as she was to hers. I pray that soon, the wisdom imparted from my "mothers" and grandmothers will finally "kick in" and I can feel that same kind of wisdom flowing through me to our children. Motherhood ain't easy, but it's worth every minute of it, and I wouldn't trade it for the world! Keep loving and honoring your mothers.

"I'm a hustler, baby..." (a la Jay-Z)
Well I'm selling Avon...slowly...but I'm sticking with it. And I'm also a Cookie Lee Jewelry Consultant. I LOVE their jewelry!! I'm so excited about having my jewelry business, and I'm doing quite well, if I may say so. Please check out my website - you can view the catalog online. It's just a side gig, but it's turning out to be quite rewarding. Aside from my initial enthusiasm over sales, what's amazing to me is that several of my customers are already promising to come back for more orders - practically setting aside budget money for next month's purchase. I love it! This jewelry is amazing! Did I say that already? Well, it is. I am so NOT a salesperson, but the product - excuse the coming cheesy line - really DOES sell itself! I'm including a few pieces in each of my YouTube videos, so I'm learning how to work the hustle! Never knew I had it in me! Who knows what the future holds... Check me out at www.youravon.com/cbranch and www.cookielee.biz/calandrabranch.

My Baby Can Read
OK, I know I'm just rambling at this point and there is no continuity in this blog, but remember...it's called "'This and That' with Calandra" for a reason! Anyway...I'm not one to brag about my children (smirk), but The Boy (I always loved when Homer called Bart "the boy") is now 3 1/2 and already reading! I want to make a Public Service Announcement...Please do not spend money on the "My Baby Can Read" DVD. First of all, how good can an educational product be that just costs $20? Shucks, "Hooked on Phonics" was like $200 when it first came out and that was a sound investment. Phonics are the way to go!!! When The Boy was a baby, someone from church gave him a toy called "Alphabet Pal" - a big catepillar who taught letters and phonetics. This was the best toy he had, and now The Girl is learning from it as well. I firmly believe that because The Boy learned phonics, he is reading now...give him any word and he can sound it out. The joy of phonics. Sight reading, the premise behind MBCR, just teaches memorization of words, so children only recognize words they have memorized or seen before. What value is that? Just something for the parents of a 6 month old who can "read" to brag about at dinner parties and family reunions. Sight reading vs. phonics  is like the difference between giving a man a fish vs. teaching him how to fish. The Boy will be reading like a champ in no time. Just in time to give us some good bragging material at the next dinner party or family reunion! LOL - just kidding.

Until next time folks...Love Y'all!

To Breastfeed or Not to Breastfeed?

I know...it's been more than a minute since I've blogged, and my re-entry into the blog world is about breastfeeding? What's up with that? Well, remember we talk about a little bit of anything and everything here, and parenting issues are near and dear to my heart. This is probably the most widely discussed parenting topic out there, right next to "cloth vs. disposable" (diapers, that is).

This afternoon, I was reading this blog/article on parentdish.com (http://www.parentdish.com/2010/04/13/baby-formula-is-not-rat-poison/), written by a woman who actually DID breastfeed her children, but was also a supporter of formula. I thought I'd add my two cents for all those moms-to-be out there. Be careful, I also feel a rant coming on! It's been 3 1/2 years since I first had to contemplate the breastfeeding choice and that's exactly what it was...a choice. I am so very sick of mothers (and fathers for that matter - contrary to popular belief, men need to be able to at least voice their opinion about anything that concerns their children. And no, I will not duck when you all throw the tomatoes at me for that statement. I'm not afraid to stand up for the Dads out there) being chastised for the decisions they make concerning their children. The bottom line is, any parent worth his/her salt is a "real parent" not because they conceived and bore a child, or not because they chose one form of something over another, but because they have made a commitment to put the welfare of their children before their own. And that they have committed to being the best they can be for their children. Now that's a pretty tall order - we are selfish by nature, so even though they're real cute and cuddly, it is sometimes difficult to put their needs before our own.

But as usual, I digress...I was talking about breastfeeding, right? Actually, no. This blog is more about choices and the consequences of the choices we make for our children. Well...I guess I'd better stick to the breastfeeding issue and I'll come back to choices later. (Note to self: Start a series of blogs on parental choice - public vs. private school, to spank or not spank, hmm...)

OK - I'm focusing, I'm focusing...Breastfeeding, right? It saddens me that a woman's motherhood is tested by her decision to breastfeed. To me, breastfeeding is not the end all. Yes, there are health and nutritional benefits, and bonding opportunities, and all that other good stuff. But when we put that kind of pressure on mothers, especially when there is a perfectly legitimate alternative, it makes non-breastfeeding mothers crazy! When I was pregnant with my son, I actually read the benefits of breastfeeding, and I decided to give it a try, but had also decided what formula we would be using, just in case. I chose to breastfeed because of the health benefits, and the bonding opportunities, but did not think formula was the devil. I did not think that breastfeeding would make me feel like more of a mom. I knew my baby would love me whether I gave him breastmilk or formula - as long as he got fed!

The irony is that we still put pressure on ourselves. I had difficulties breastfeeding. When I came home from the hospital, I was so obsessive about getting Izzy (our son) on a schedule, I didn't like the arbitrary-ness (yeah, I know that's not a word) of the breastfeeding schedule. If I couldn't measure it, I didn't know if he had had enough, and I was just a hot mess. After a month, I decided to stick to formula and after a few days of grieving my decision, I got over it and moved on. I was disappointed because I felt I had betrayed my commitment to breastfeed. I wasn't worried about losing any health benefits - there are perfectly healthy formula-fed children out there. So by the time our daughter was born 2 years later, there was no choice. I didn't want to go through the emotional struggle again. We were going straight to the formula. Enfamil had served us well.

So to breastfeed or not to breastfeed? The purpose of this blog is not to provide you the answer. There is no correct answer. My only answer is to do your homework and make a wise decision. But also realize that sometimes biology is not in line with our decision, and you may have to go another route. Just know that if you make parenting decisions with love and due diligence, then don't let anyone get on your case about them.

Let me get off my soapbox, before someone knocks me off! Love y'all!

Time Flies

Wow. I can't believe we're more than halfway through February, and I haven't posted a thing since the beginning of the month. Bad blogger! In all honesty, I haven't had much to say lately-just busy with work, home, etc. I know, you don't feel like hearing me complain. I guess there's nothing worse than a whiny blogger!

Still trying to get ideas for my next vlog on YouTube. I have some ideas, but can't seem to flesh out anything substantial to talk about. My next one will probably be on teens and sex - I think that's my roadblock. I have a lot to say, but I'm a bit reluctant - it's one video I want to really be prepared for and not say things off the cuff. I say it's a roadblock because I'm starting to believe that "ain't no good gonna come to me" until I do right by the subject of teens and sex.

To all my friends from Facebook who may be reading this...PLEASE subscribe to my YouTube channel (www.youtube.com/cybranch). I know you've been watching my vlogs, and I suspect you don't subscribe because the system forces you to sign up/register with YouTube. Trust me, it's safe and there are no downsides to registering with YT. Would I lie to you? LOL.

Thanks again for everyone's support. Please remember to send me comments to let me know what's on your mind, and what you'd like to see me talk about. Let's make "This and That" with Calandra a fun place to hang out!

Peace and blessings.

Black History Month

Welcome to Black History Month! I can't promise I'll post a fact every day, but I'll try to share a few each week. I was so proud of our 3 year old son, Izzy. He had colored a picture of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. several weeks ago in school, but I didn't know he had a little speech to go along with it. It went something like, "This is Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. He was a civil rights leader who fought for peace and equality." It was a beautiful moment. He has so much more history to learn, but to know that he learned this at 3, we look forward to the journey of teaching him even more.

I can remember in college being a bit annoyed that BHM always seemed to just mean Dr. King, Harriet Tubman, and a handful of others, when there were so many more people and facts to know. But now seeing my son learn about Dr. King, I look at it as his first step in learning about all, and I mean ALL the others who came before and after Dr. King to shape our legacy as African Americans. Let us also be mindful that history is being made every day, so don't complain about Black History Month only being 28 days. Take this as an opportunity to get the ball rolling towards a 365-day celebration of Black History. Celebrate every day! Find history living in your family, in your church, in your community. Let's learn and celebrate the past, but don't forget to understand the present so that we can begin shaping our future.